In Terms of Romance, Good Luck
by Cerulean Apocalypse
Summary: Leo is still single. This is bad. He doesn't know about Mary-Sues, and a bunch of them are about to arrive at camp. Can Nico warn him in time, or will Leo be taken by the Sues?


Author's Note: **The idea came to me a while ago, I just keep changing how it starts. This is my 4****th**** attempt. I don't own The Heroes of Olympus, or Percy Jackson and the Olympians, but I hope you enjoy this oneshot.**

In Terms of Romance, Good Luck

Stuck. Leo was stuck on one part of the plans for the Argo II. Summer was approaching quickly, and he _had _to finish that flaming, flying, most-awesome-thing-in-the-world ship. Sadly he was stuck on the source of fuel for the ship. Whoever made that blueprint had written "MSB" for the fuel, but what did that mean?

Annabeth walked up to him. "Hey Leo. Something wrong?" she asked, seeing his expression.

"Yeah," Leo replied. He pushed the newer copy of the blueprint off of the desk. "Whoever designed this blueprint wrote "MSB" for a fuel. Do you have any idea what that is?" He looked at her hopefully. She bit her lip.

"Sorry, I don't," Annabeth told him. She seemed worried, so Leo decided to let her be.

He went on pondering the mysterious initials. Finally, he couldn't the silence of meaning from the letters anymore. Leo walked out of Bunker 9, and wandered through the woods, trying to clear his head.

Suddenly, there was a loud rustling from behind him. Leo spun around. He saw a boy, a bit younger than him, walking toward him. "Leo," the boy shouted. He looked familiar.

"Do I know you?" Leo asked. The boy looked at him in a serious way.

"I'm Nico, Nico DiAngelo," he said. Leo though for a minute, then remembered why he looked familiar; He was the head counselor of the Hades cabin, and was one of the recurring people in the photos that Annabeth owned.

"Oh, right," Leo said. "What's up?"

Nico looked over his shoulder. "Let's walk. I don't want _them_ to overhear us." Leo looked at him confusedly, but kept walking.

After a few minutes of silence, Nico loosened up. "I came here to warn you, and to give you a little advice."

At that comment, Leo laughed. "Nico, you're younger than me. I doubt I need your advice." Leo laughed a little more, but Nico's serious expression returned. Leo thought it was really creepy, so he let him talk. "What do you have to say, then?"

"I came to warn you about Mary-Sues," Nico said quickly. Leo stared.

"What?" Leo responded, half in shock, half in laughter.

Nico gave him another look. "Mary-Sues," he began, "are these awful monsters, created by crazy fangirls. They look really sexy, act really smart, have REALLY long names, and, in general, seem perfect. Everyone seems to love them."

"Wait- we have fangirls?" Leo asked. "Where are they?" He smoothed his messy black hair. The younger of the two shook his head.

"There not actually here. They know about us because of that scribe guy, Rick Riordan. He treated us all like fairytale characters, and exposed our life to sell as a story." Nico explained. He continued, "Some of the girls who read his stuff write about the single guys of his series, like you and me." Nico's expression changed slightly, as if he was about to vomit. "Most of the time, they pair us off with perfected versions of themselves, and we fall in love."

Leo frowned. "Okay, that's just sick and wrong." Nico's face turned greener.

"It gets worse," he said. "When a Mary-Sue is created, it always gets transferred here. They hunt us down, and try to make us fall in love with them. It's the worst thing EVER!" Nico screamed. Leo stared in horror.

"Did more Mary-Sues show up today?" he asked worriedly. Nico nodded.

"They weren't just for me today," he choked out. "There were a lot more than usual. They were asking for y-" Nico didn't get to finish his sentence, though. He was interrupted by Leo's screams of fear as he charged through the woods.

..~0~..

Leo didn't stop running for a long time. When he finally stopped, he had reached the edge of camp. Panting, he leaned against a tree. Suddenly, a girl popped out from behind that tree.

"Hi!" she squealed. Leo screamed. "My name is Olivia Arianna Isobel Bancroft-Cromwell! Do you want to go out with me?" She had emerald colored eyes, shiny, golden-brown hair that reached the ground, and had a long name. She had to be a Mary-Sue.

Leo walked away slowly. As much as he wanted a girlfriend, this girl was creepy. "No, I don't want to date you," he said. He turned to run, but another girl was blocking his path. She walked up, and gave him a hug.

This girl smelled like chocolate, and had soft white-blonde hair. Her eyes were an unusually bright shade of purple.

"Oh, Leo-pie, I'm so sorry that awful Mary-Sue broke up with you. But don't worry, I'm going to heal your pain, and love you forever and ever." She squeezed him even harder.

"Can't….breathe," Leo gasped. The blonde let go of him. He was scooped up by another.

"Can't you see I love him?" she wailed. "My name is Marielle Sophia Jessica Justine Willianstonborough, and with Leo WE are Marielle Sophia Jessica Justine WillianstonboroughEO" she said, putting extra emphasis on the last two letters of Leo's name. She began fighting with the other two Mary-Sues.

Leo saw this as an opportunity to leave. He sneaked away from the fighting, but ran into two more Mary-Sues.

They were identical. "Hi!" one shouted. She had black, wavy hair, featuring blue extensions, and bright blue eyes. The other had long brown hair with pink extensions and glowing, lime green eyes. "My name is Cerulean Guinevere Marina Viridiana Marcellina Celeste Emeralda Sapphira Pearl Elliana Marshington," she announced in her usual professional, charming, and polite manner.

The other stepped forward. "Ignore my twin. I'm Apocalypse Elvendork Cassiopeia Joslin Serafina Amberelle Ruby Alex'xxandra Ferrari Annabelle Cora Marissa Amanda Ry'anne Yatarezellia Marshington. We were born on February 30, on the night of a full moon and a meteor shower," she announced.

_That's it, _Leo thought. _I'm going to get away from these people if it's the last thing I do._ Unfortunately, he was surrounded by about a million more Mary-Sues about 2 seconds later.

"GET HIM! HE'S SO HOT!" they all screamed. Then they attacked.

In the process of trying to escape, Leo was caught. His bones were broken, but he could never remember the pain, for he was knocked unconscious. He would never remember how the Stoll brothers found him later, surrounded by a pool of purple perfume and glitter, also known as Mary-Sue blood. He would never remember how he was covered in lipstick and lip gloss on almost every part of his body. He would never remember how the Apollo Cabin worked endlessly to save him from the traces of Mary-Sue in his bloodstream, because some things are too traumatic to remember. All he would remember was waking up in the Big House in a full body cast, along with Nico and Jason.

"What happened to you guys?" he asked.

"Mary-Sues," Nico moaned in pain. "They're evil, dude, there were too many."

Leo attempted to turn his head to Jason. "What about you, man? Did the Sues get you, too?"

Jason shook his head. "Piper," he groaned. "As a joke, I told her I was going back to Reyna; she believed me, and here I am." Nico laughed.

"You idiot. Never take a girl for granted in this world. _Never._"

Leo laughed, too. "He's right. If you want to live, avoid the Sues."

End of Story

Author's Note:** Well, what do you think? Leave a comment. Also, I apologize to anyone named Olivia, Isobel, Arianna, Marielle, Sophia, Jessica, Justine, Cerulean, Guinevere, Marina, Viridiana, Marcellina, Celeste, Emerelda, Sapphira, Pearl, Elliana, Apocalypse, Elvendork (it's a real name), Cassiopeia, Joslin, Serafina, Amberelle, Ruby, Alex'xxandra, Ferrari, Annabelle, Cora, Marissa, Amanda, Ry'anne, and Yaterezellia. I also apologize to people with a similar last name to Bancroft, Cromwell, Willianstonborough, and Marshington. Please remember to review.**


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